quarta-feira, 20 de maio de 2009

Cachos Vermelho-Sangue

Tudo que eu odeio se mesclando a tudo que eu amo. Isso é Dulce. Mas não qualquer Dulce. Esta é a Dulce que chegou como um belíssimo e inesperado entardecer, atacando minhas retinas doentes. Deve ter sido algum ataque dotado de grande violência, pois agora, só vejo o sangue espalhado. Vejo tudo em Vermelho-Sangue. Será que foi a violência?

Pois é, acabo de descobrir que não. Descubro que agora, só enxergo
Dulce - Vermelho-Sangue
.

Me espanta, sua passagem (efêmera, como tudo aquilo que a ela se refere) por diferentes universos, porém, com um encantamento repugnante único. Um amor odiável único. Ao sentí-la em meio às fantasias de aeromoça, nada poderia passar por minha mente a não ser o repúdio à vulgaridade. Mas não.
Ao vê-la envolta em simples folhas de papel rasgado, tentando em vão, se proteger do ataque torrencial, eu nada poderia fazer a não ser, assim como outros fotógrafos, tomá-la por estúpida. Mas não.
Ao me deparar com seu cigarro e seu desprendimento de regras e de sanidade, todo meu moralismo me leva a recriminá-la. Mas, mais uma vez, e outra vez, e repetidas vezes, não.

Por quê? Por que, porra! (eis aqui meu moralismo falso, que me abandona ao menor sinal de descontrole. Talvez, se eu tivesse algum desprendimento de regras e sanidade...)

Não consigo conter o furacão de palavras silenciosas que me inundam ao deparar-me, cada vez mais e cada vez mais com a Dulce - Vermelho-Sangue que decidiu se instalar definitivamente no fundo das minhas retinas! Nem quando a vejo entre palavras e silêncio; nem quando me deparo com outros que, assim como eu, conseguiram amar e odiar Dulce inúmeras vezes.

Ei, eu amei Dulce? Isso não é racionalmente possível. Dulce é tudo que eu desprezo. Todas as suas atitudes me enojam. Sua liberdade vulgar me causa asco.

Sua liberdade vulgar me causa asco. Todas as suas atitudes me enojam. A Dulce - Vermelho-Sangue é tudo que eu desprezo. Isso não é racionalmente possível. Mas eu amei Dulce.

(Vejamos.. talvez, eu tenha um certo desprendimento de regras e sanidade...)

Não qualquer Dulce. A Dulce - Vermelho-Sangue que não abandona minhas retinas, que agora, só vêem em vermelho. Vermelho-Sangue.



Dulce nasceu de si mesma uma flor de lótus;
inventou todas as ciências em meio à chuva torrencial do mundo de sofismas;
voltou às suas origens como a serpente que devora a própria cauda;
foi silenciada em meio a palavras como as que me insufla;
chegou ao paraíso da excomunhão e ao inferno da canonização
e insiste em me ferir a retina de Vermelho.

Inebrio-me de Dulce - Vermelho-Sangue e espero sua próxima atitude odiosamente apaixonante...


this Mortal coil: "(Nothing But) Blood"

26 comentários:

Jaya disse...

Primeiro que adorei os cabelos de fogo serem vistos como cachos vermelho-sangue. Depois, que no terceiro parágrafo, você conseguiu botar pra fora tudo o que as atitudes de Dulce realmente são, e soam. Ressoam, inclusive.

Num asco, num vício, numa obsessão muda: ela parece brincar, cigana, maliciosa, com seu desapego. E numa distração infernal, isso talvez a faça inocente dentro em seu próprio mundo. Seria ela sonsa, apenas?

Será que Dulce volta?

Ah, Allan, de todos os textos que resolveram ressaltar a personalidade, após os sofismas, esse foi o que mais se assimilou ao ideal ilusório que tenho de Dulce. [Já quis sê-la. E ela mora em mim].

Adorei, muito. Passo a ver em vermelho-sangue, daqui.

Beijallaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! :*

Filipe Garcia disse...

Oi Allan,

Dulce impregna, não é? Fica o cheiro dela, nas narinas. E sim, nunca saberemos o que é isso que temos por ela. Amor? Repulsa? Talvez Dulce tenha surgido pra isso mesmo, pra nos apavorar, nos tirar da linha.

A Dulce, em seus dedos, reiterou essa ambiguidade inerente a ela. Mostrou também que ganhei um rival, rs.

Muito bom, o texto. Com Dulce, não tinha como não ser.

Abraço!

Jaya disse...

Aaaaaaaaaaaah...

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Allan,

Eu achava minha orientadora um anjo. Depois, eu quis trocar, quis bater, quis xingar. Mas me acalmei. Ela acabou sendo um amor, de novo, e dona de proezas lindas para me tranquilizar e fazer bem. [Tanto que, no dia da defesa, ela me disse coisas lindas que terminou com um choro da banca inteira - inclusive o meu, óbvio].

Isso tudo eu disse, porque sei da vontade que a língua tem de mandar um "ah, não fode". Rs. Controle-seeee! Haha.

Ó, continuo aqui esperando notícias. Já tem a defesa marcada? Boa sorte com todas as alterações finais. E sucessos. Muitos sucessos!

Beijallan!
:*

gabriela m. disse...

dulce sai passeando e encantando...

:}

obrigada pela visita.

Dayane disse...

Dulce...
Pois é,não sei quem é Dulce ¬¬.

Dayane disse...

Odeio quando vc faz posts mega interessantes que eu nao sei exatamente sobre o que ou quem se referem ¬¬.

Jaya disse...

Atualizaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

¬¬

Dayane disse...

Ah,agora eu sei quem é Dulce!

Tiffany disse...

ódio e amor sempre adando juntos.

ótimo texto!

Marcos Leonidio disse...

Meu caro amigo. Seu texto é absolutamente genial. Eu lhe peço: escreva um livro, uma peça teatral, um roteiro de cinema, um ensaio, uma crônica, enfim, nos brinde com sua criatividade existencial e intelectual. Abs.

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